Michelle Obama said "if you do not take over your time and life other people will gobble it up. If you don't prioritize yourself, you will constantly fall lower and lower on your list."
So thinking of yourself once in a while doesn't make you a bad person and if anyone told you otherwise, it's simply not true. You need to learn how to take care of yourself first, love yourself first before thinking of pouring out your love and giving your times to others.
I am not saying you couldn't do anything good for other people and go around saying "No" to people, just saying you shouldn't always feel obligated to help others especially when you know you will not be able to at that moment.
I understand it completely because I have always been a shy and reserved person (an introvert) and honestly didn't know how to express my emotions and wanted lots of friends and wanted them to like me so I ended up pleasing them and sometimes displeasing myself. I always said "yes" to everyone (my classmates, my elders my siblings, and my parents). For me it's was so wrong and disrespectful to say "no" to people and I always believe you have to be nice to people in order for them to like you.
I later came to the realization that being nice to people and going out of your way to do everything for them doesn't mean they will do the same for you. People most of the time take advantage of that fact and end up not appreciating the things you do. It really hurts and sometimes damages the way we feel about ourselves.
Again I'm not saying you shouldn't be nice to people, just saying you should make yourself, your top priority and take care of yourself and be the very best you can be for yourself. You should not feel guilty for choosing to do so because you are the most important person in your life.
I know it's a big change and it's not going to be easy but you can do it if you set your mind on it. You can actually be a better person if you put yourself first. So start doing these 5 things.
Make "Me time" a priority.
This is a very important step because most people don't know how to enjoy their lives, they are always too busy and don't have time to do something for themselves. You have to make a list of everything you love and make time for them. Whether it's watching a movie or a favorite TV series or even eating a bucket of crispy chicken, as long as you love it, do it.
Learn how to say "No" without feeling guilty.
As I said earlier you shouldn't please others and end up displeasing yourself, you should know when to simply say "no" to people's requests. And I know at first you will feel guilty, it's understandable but I ensure you that eventually, it will get easy.
Always say kind things to yourself.
You should make it a habit to say kind things to yourself and put a stop to self-criticism and insecurities. If you can't go around saying mean things to others, then don't it to yourself. You can do that by appreciating and loving the skin you are in, nobody is perfect and there is so much more to life than worrying about imperfections.
Don't allow other people's reaction to affect you
You will notice, the moment you start refusing requests, people will start giving you some certain attitude that won't be pleasant and can even make you anxious and afraid of them. You should realize you cannot control people's reactions just don't allow it to affect you.
Don't push aside your needs for others.
Thinking of yourself doesn't make you a bad or a selfish person, so stop pushing your needs aside for others and make sure there are met. You can truly prioritize your happiness by doing this. And don't let others sway you or make you feel bad about your decision.
Follow these simple tips and you will feel less stressed, you will think more clearly and your confidence will improve.
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